Food companies – mama said knock her out*
Hardly have we got Valentine’s Day consigned to the recycling bin of time for another year than another “celebration” comes along – Mothering Sunday.
I bet few of you know (or care for that matter) that when you sit down with mother or the mother of your own children, you are following a routine dating back to the worship of the Roman goddess Cybele, later usurped by those serial thieves of ideology, the early Christians.
But before you start to drift off, there is a point to this and it is for all those foody businesses out there – this is really a chance to start working together to make some money.
From the small amount of networking I do (I read Twitter) I know that many small food businesses collaborate. I know that Devonshire Tea works with a baker and a dairy farmer to produce Devon Cream Tea hampers containing tea, scones, jam and cream, so you can enjoy the taste of Devon etc. But really people, do more!
I personally think Mothering Sunday is a bit like Hallowe’en, it’s largely a marketing ploy to make sales. So bloody well use it. You should all start talking to each other, if you haven’t already, about Mothering Sunday Hampers and other such delights.
Consider me. Now, when you’ve stopped laughing realise the truth, that I am a man of a certain age and that we are all largely useless when it comes to things like Mothers’ Day. Christmas and birthdays we can just about handle, with prompting. Mothers’ Day is largely an epic fail (please God tell me I’m not the only one).
So solve our problem. Us middle class boys all half believe that mother is still at home with lemonade and a sticky plaster for when we get in from football with a hurty knee. In the time we’ve been out (in my case about two months since I last went home) they’ve been pretty much baking constantly. They’ve probably already made this year’s Christmas Pud.
We know they’d love a hamper full of tasty treats. Just a short list of things from the Westcountry to put in it – wine, tea, cream, jam, sausages, chocolate, saffron cakes. Stuff that won’t make her say “well I can make all those things, the cheeky little herbert” but will instead have her say “You know, that eldest son, he isn’t really the black sheep of the family, let’s put him back in the will”.
There is probably a hamper maker out there who would get involved, but frankly, a box of nice stuff would be enough, well presented. Send it to us through the post in exchange for a reasonable price or, even better, send it direct to her.
That way familial harmony is restored and you also have a new customer who’ll go to her friends and tell them all about what mon premier fils has got her. And there is no better or more widespread form of free advertising than a woman talking to her friends. Repeatedly.
Consider also telling the women’s section of the local paper, if they have one, they’ll be desperate for Mothers’ Day stuff to fill their pages – especially if it is local and isn’t just a press release puff containing dubious stats from a bastard multinational.
Get on it.
Update – It has been pointed out since I wrote that there are hampers available. But they retail at around £60 and upwards and really, who’s paying that for Mothers’ Day? Especially if you are chroinically disorganised. The point I was making was that companies could aim for idiots who would otherwise buy some limp flowers from a petrol station.
* We want you to knock mama out in the “pleasant surprise gift” fashion. We strongly oppose violence against anyone’s mama, or indeed anyone at all for that matter. We just wanted to shoehorn some LL Cool J in there for the ageing kids among you. So we did.